Being observant

This is just a piece I had to write for my narrative journalism workshop a little while ago, to learn how to write without interpreting what we're seeing. We had to sit in a busy place for a few hours,to "become aware of our surroundings. Allow the place and it's inhabitants to pervade your consciousness..." Then we had to write about it all in a way that was showing, not telling the audience.

So here it is. It was really relaxing to write, actually.

Friday 29th January, 1:30pm, Hilton Garden Inn Reception Desk

Beige walls, beige floor. Dishwater blonde hair in a ponytail and a cream sweater behind a beige desk.

Brrring! Brrring! Brrring! “Thank you calling downtown Ithaca Hilton Garden Inn. This is Melissa, how may I help you?’

Black suitcase rolling across big beige and little green tiles. Klah-klunk klah-klunk klah-klunk klah-klunk.

Automatic doors open. Winter air. The sound of traffic driving through slush interrupts recordings of pianos and saxophones. Splash. Splash.

Brown sweatshirt, black baseball cap. Jeans and a short brown beard. “Hi, I have reservations for Curtis? Yes. And it’s for two nights.”

“I have your room ready. I just need your credit card. Have you been here before?”

Heater rumbles. Rrrrr. Rrrrr. Rrrrr. Thunk. Silence.

Brown and cream fisherman’s sweater. Hair swept into a messy ponytail, with lots of little hairs falling out from the rubber band.

“I’ll go look at our license plate.” Wet sneakers leave marks on the cream and green tiles and navy blue carpets.

Brrring! Brrring! Brrring! Brrring! “Good afternoon, thanks for calling downtown Ithaca Hilton Garden Inn. This is Melissa, how may I help you?”

Black and white pictures of old Ithaca reflect a glare from within brown wooden frames. Maps, construction sites, flora and fauna.

Black leggings, black North Face and hot pink slippers walk by. “I gotta go to court.” Cell phone chatter fades into the distance.

Rapid clicking. “Okay, you’re all set arriving on the eighth until the tenth of February. Do you want me to read you the confirmation number? Okay, you’re all set then.”

Whur. Whur. Splash splash splash splash. Unintelligible voices filter from outside.

More footprints on the navy carpet, leading from doors to desk. “Is it possible to get change for a twenty?”

“Sure! Do you want all fives?”
“Yeah yeah. Definitely.”

Blue windbreaker with black shoulders. Black slacks. Closely shaven head and a goatee. Leaning into the phone and typing with both hands.

“Let me go and transfer you back to Kelly.”

A short beep when the elevator arrives. A long beep when the elevator departs.

Tapping. Hot pink slippers walk across the floor again. Arms full of Cornell-brand luggage and a cell phone still tucked under her chin.

“Our parking isn’t validated. Thank you for making my life difficult, I really appreciate that.”

Clicking. Light comes through the windows. Beige floor turns gold. Stacked Hilton points package pamphlets cast a glare. Bright white and blue. Go tropical.

“Is that validated for us?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”

Hot pink slippers turn around. Short beep. Long beep.

“Whenever she’s here…” Big sigh.

Constant beeping. A door is unlocked. Fluorescent lights shudder on and cast shadows over piles of luggage.

“I don’t know which bags are mine, there are two red bags left.”

“Yup, that’s all.”

Klah-klunk klah-klunk klah-klunk klah-klunk. Whur. Whur. Splash splash splash. Honk. Splash.

“Take a deep breath before you go outside. This is upstate.”